One Month

One month ago today I learned what it truly means to live life one day at a time being so thankful for every  moment with the ones I love. I never ever expected the call I got that day. It literally came out of nowhere and rocked my seemingly perfect little world. The problem though is that my world was not perfect. I was not living each day grateful to be alive and thankful for the little things like I thought I was. I was not loving my life and the people in it the way I should. I was probably not saying I love you anywhere near enough.

Although I still ache at times for my mom to be here and to be doing this life with her family. I also still know that she is in a better place. I still believe that she went to be with the Lord in his perfect timing and he had a plan for her that came to fruition and a plan for all of us that has yet to be seen. I still think it's natural though to have that bit of a longing for her to be here.

However, the ache is dulled by the tremendous amount of love that has been showered on us. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined what we would gain in the midst of such loss. It totally blows my mind and makes us all feel so loved and we are just genuinely humbled. We are so imperfect and flawed yet we have so many people truly loving us and showering blessings on us without ceasing. Being the hands and feet of Jesus and showing us and the people around us what community looks like.

A month later I can say that we made it. I think there was a moment at first where we did not know what to do or where to go or if we could even take the next step or breath. But we did and here we are.There are days where I am sure all of us can say that we break down and just need a good cry. There are also days where things feel ok and like we are gaining on our grief. Regardless, we are all learning that this is not going to be a short process but that this process is helped by remembering the good and wonderful things our mom did for us. Remembering what she gave us and not what we had to give up. By remembering how much she loved life and each and every single person in it. By remembering that we are children of God and he has a plan for us and it will involve great things if we continue to put our hope in him and not let grief and doubt on the hard days overshadow his everlasting love for us.