Poopy Prodigy...or not ;-)

Well it has been almost two months without sweet gigi here and Cooper still struggles just as we do. Sometimes three or four days pass without a mention from him although we still try and talk about it as often as we feel is appropriate without bombarding him. This past week was a week that he talked about her constantly from Thursday to Sunday pretty much non stop. She was already on my mind and add in constant consoling and talking about heaven with a three year old and you have a big ole emotional vortex.

That set the stage for Sunday night. Sometimes it is in the mundane or silly things that I think of my mom and one moment I am laughing hysterically and then the next crying uncontrollably. Sunday night Parker pooped in the tub and while that in itself is not really funny I was immediately brought back to a similar scenario with my mom and Cooper.

We were bathing Cooper one night and he was a little over one or not even one yet and he began to poop in the tub. I was screaming and laughing so hard I was crying as I was fishing poop out and mom was holding Cooper over the toilet. As she was doing that he pooped in the potty...as a default ;-) But mom was convinced he would potty train early and be a prodigy. She just knew he "knew" what he was doing. We laughed about that for days and laughed at her for thinking that! Little did she know he would actually be the most difficult child on the planet to potty train. Over six months after starting he is finally potty trained...unfortunately mom never got to see that and see the excitement on his sweet little face the day it finally clicked.

She worked so hard with him and just knew he was on the verge and stuck up for him daily when he had to give his daily potty progress report to his "G". He always knew she had his side. They were just the best of buddies. The morning that she passed away she sat with him in the bathroom for about twenty minutes according to my dad just convinced he'd poop.

It is a silly memory and one I can think of and get a laugh out of. One that I can think to and remember just how much my mom loved and cherished my sweet boys. Although I did laugh I also cried most of Sunday night because it just never occurred to me that it would not be in God's plan for her to be here to see these precious boys grow up. I'm still not doubting HIS perfect plan I just had a moment of intense longing and wishing it were different. So, I cried and let it all out. I've been so positive and I feel like I have not lost that but for one day I just needed to let go and to be emotional and to grieve in such a physical way. While I was crying on the outside that precious memory is one that made my heart smile and one that I want to remember forever.